Say that you love me :)

YAY.
I'm darn happy cos I just found a perfect gift for my dad for his birthday this 25th April.


A Dolce and Gabbana Men's Light Blue Perfume. Costs me rm180 only,slightly cheaper cos I bought it from Nadia's mum. And its consider cheap for an original perfume. Hope he likes it :) :)
Anyway, I bought myself a Guess watch too. LOL, thats the most expensive thing I've ever bought for myself. Seriously, with my own cash. But no regrets :)


Today sales $00000.. Imagine that, $0! And boss left for KL to get some new stock so it was just me and MeiQi spending the day by watching dvds and sleeping. syokness. haha :)

Was caught sleeping twice on camera by MeiQi:
And yes, I bring my pillow to work. hehe.

Anyways, it had been disturbing my mind a lot. The thoughts I have about my fear. I think about it every night before I sleep and I always end it with a little prayer. It was on the previous post, about death. I know some of you may not think about it as often as me and some of you dont even think about it. But I do, everyday in my life. And it had been bothering me lately, i dont know why. I didnt want to post more previously cos Im afraid that people call me silly. When I think about losing people and thing I love, my heart always feel heavy and afraid to let it all go one day. Sometimes, I get so scared and I can hardly breathe and I have to take a deep breath and clear my mind. Sometimes, I get so scared of losing , I will randomly go up to my mum and hug her and she'll be like: hamsap wanna hug hug. hahaha. But all I will reply is : I miss you. Sometimes I can't take it and I'll just text any of my friends and tell them that I miss them.Sometimes I get too paranoid and I pray till I break down and cry.

I know, we live only once. I know, we're like immortals.We born, we live, we die. It's a circle of life, and everyone has to go through it. But I'm sorry, I can't accept it now. I can't accept the circle of life. I'm sorry, but I need time. I need time to find the strength to overcome this.

I've been always afraid of death. But previously, I was nearly a free thinker. I don't pray and sometimes, I don't believe in God.But I've changed.I pray every night now and ask Him to show me the path so I know that He does exist.

I'm afraid of losing.Honestly, if anything do happen, the first person I'll think of is my sister.

I love my life a lot. I appreciate it a lot for being here right now. But I don't know how to tell all of you that I really appreciate every one of you that walks into and out of my damn life.Everyone of you matters to me.The ones that love and hurt me, both, had made me the person I am today.Siigh, seriously, I just feel like telling all of you that but I just don't know how to make you believe that I really meant it.
Siigh, I need a hug :(


Also, I'm pampering myself with stuff.I spent so much, you can hardly believe that. I believe that if you want something, just go for it. Money you can find, but happiness is even better.

Siigh, I hope I'll find the strength to overcome this soon.

Ok enought of my bullsh*t :P people who thinks that my thoughts are silly, please get a life. Deal with your own life before you deal with others.Everyone has fears and so do I. *I know,someone commented that this is silly once years back*

xoxo's.

Anyway, Racken Force's performing for the upcoming IU night this Saturday night. And I did not know who was Racken Force but finally, I recognized them from tv.They're the champion dancers from Astro Batteground.


And this is Dennis solo from Racken Force.The beginning is a bit boring but he shakes good in the end. He's a cutie :) I know Yinn Jeng likes him xD